"And if I stop to catch my breath, I might catch a piece of death. I can't keep your pace, if I want to finish this race. My fight's not with you. Long distance runner, long distance runner, long distance runner, long distance runner. . . . " - Fugazi, "Long Distance Runner" off of Red Medicine.
Yeah, life can definitely feel like a cross-country twenty kilometer race uphill, in balmy weather, underneath the midday sun, sometime in the apex of summer's torture. Or, of course, it could also be a casual, invigorating walk in the midst of a light drizzle, with the cool, refreshing wind blowing across your face, and the soft dirt under your feet of the forest trail you're blazing. I'm not in a rush, very much, so I have a tendency to experience the latter analogy, moreso than the former. Ah well, "the farther I go, the less I know, one foot goes in front of the other. It all boils down to not hanging around, to keep moving, in front of the gravity, gravity, gravity. The answer is there, the answer is there, but there is not a fixed position. It keeps moving along, so I keep coming along, and that's why I'm a long distance runner. . . . "
Some may feel that I've shown a bit more favour to the multimedia of the animated elk, so I decided to speak on two of the more notable movies I have viewed recently, which featured real people and all of that fancy, physical reality jazz. Some may also have noticed I've done more reviewing than rambling lately, too; the explanation for that is that I have begun my summer English class, therefore most of my creative writing is being funneled towards that, and writing reviews is both entertaining and simpler than elaborate rants.
First off, there was Vanilla Sky. Okay, remember how I said that if you throw something off-the-wall and different at me, I'll almost always catch it and play with it for endless hours, contentedly (although, not in so many words)? Well, that still holds true with this movie masterpiece. (Well, a "masterpiece" may be a hyperbole, but I loved it that much.) An exploration into matters ranging from the degeneration of music to the subconscious, dream-state to sex to death, Vanilla Sky didn't disappoint in the field of intellectual content, nor was it a boring, sleeper a la Citizen Kane. (Classic or not, I detested that bit of cinema.) Superb acting, an intriguing, deep plot, romance that didn't make me retch like certain Portman/Christensen scenes, and a rather well put together score, I'd have to say that this movie only racks up a measly Failure Rating of . . . . Actually, 0%. I've probably been a bit too generous in my scoring, as I don't take my entertainment overly serious nor am I being wined and dined for the favour of ratings by movie studios. If I watch something and know I can watch it over and over, that's usually what it takes to earn a total lack of any Failure Percentage at all.
Secondly, I had fun playing "Guess which side of the DVD is full-screen and which is wide," followed by a rousing round of "Clean the DVD so it doesn't become unbearably skippy,, with The Mothman Prophecies. Despite the trouble I had with the disc itself, the movie didn't turn out very badly at all. In fact, for what it was, it was quite a success. When my father brought it in, he described it as a "horror/drama/suspense/science-fiction" flick, which told me absolute jack, nor did I even recall the trailers being run for The Mothman Prophecies, so I was completely unarmed with any prior bias when the room darkened and the DVD spun up, for the fifth time after getting it set up right. The story of a Washington D.C. reporter whose wife unexpectedly loses control of the wheel and ends up in a fatal car accident, after having supposedly "seen something," and made cryptic, demonic sketches in a book, before her death. Afterward, the man sets out to drive to Richmond, Virginia (the capital of my home state) to interview the governor, but ends up in a tiny, obscure town in West Virginia on the border of Ohio, known as Point Pleasant. Much insanity and mystery ensues, including, but not limited to, a crazy farmer waving a shotgun, UFO sightings, reports of a giant moth-like creature, voices in many heads, whisperings telling of horrible, future disasters, and much, much confusion. The Mothman Prophecies is based off a true story, as the movie notes, which mainly adds a pinch of incredulity and interest factor to it, leaving one to wonder how much of it was reality and how much was fiction. The plot is rather involved, with an ending twist that I didn't see coming, and I doubt the average Joe would have, either; however, I felt there were some holes that needed to be filled, mostly pertaining to the theories of the Mothmen presented by the writer in Chicago and his life. Although, after watching that movie, I felt somewhat the urge to go out and research what was presented within, but not overwhelmingly so. Still, a very interesting endeavour full of suspense, I give The Mothman Prophecies a Failure Rating of 9%.
Among the slew of anime I have been getting and viewing late at night when I should be asleep, I did manage to complete one series, namely: DNA^2. A very cute, touching, science-fiction comedy about a bumbling, nervous boy, Junta Momonari, and how a future Time Police agent-type woman, Marin Aoi, has come to try and prevent him from becoming a "mega-playboy" who impregnates 100 women and causes overpopulation in the future. If anything, unique, eh? This anime is chock full of the teenage love-love indecision, anxiety, and overflowing emotions which you can find in many animes, such as Love Hina and Tenchi Muyo, but vomit and farting definitely puts a slightly odd twist on it all. (Trust me, you have to watch it to understand. Ever wonder why Stan from South Park started off barfing everywhere? Yeah, this anime is where Parker and Stone take that premise from.) The first half of this anime is pleasant and humourous, which I didn't find dull very much. However, like many other comedies tend to do and end up ruining the experience, the second half starts to focus on the flimsy, mediocre plot, putting a spotlight on the glaring weakness of the anime. It nearly goes over the top at some points, with a DNA-absorbing, shape-shifting nemesis and time-travelling conspirators, but it doesn't completely lose its footing on the ledge, I think. However, it's difficult to conclude a zany series like DNA^2 without going overboard, I suppose. (Slayers the Movie, however, is a classic example of comedy-gone-bad, but I'll save that for another time.) Overall, I'd give the 15 episode TV-series DNA^2 a ranking of approximately 20% Failure. Not bad, but not great: cute, in other words.
Okay, I decided that it may appear that I give too much favour to anime over other forms of film media, so I'm going to do a couple, quick retrospective reviews of awful, awful anime. First, we have Fist of theNorth Star. Take a typical kung-fu/action movie plot involving competing brothers, a shared love interest, add horrendously done animation, utterly despicable character design, unmentionable music, uninteresting, flat, static characters, stir in a lot of badly drawn blood and gore, and you end up with a heaping, frothy cup of Fist of the North Star, a la comode. (Forgive the pun.) Please, please, please, do not watch this anime, ever. Not the movie, not the TV series, not any form of it whatsoever, don't even play the games, because I can not forewarn you enough of how plain bad it is. This heap of garbage clocks in at the highest Failure Percentage yet, 99%.
Have you ever though to yourself, "Gee, you know, Street Fighter is a really nifty game, I wonder what it'd be like if they took it and made it into a show or movie?" Well, there've been an American cartoon and an anime TV series to answer that question, neither of which I've seen much of. However, what I have had the distinct displeasure of viewing, in entirety, was the Street Fighter Alpha anime movie. Uuugh, the dialogue--I saw this dubbed, so the voice acting may not be as bad in the original form–is so cliché, so badly scripted, so repetitive. Watch as Ryu struggles to withstand the creeping tendrils of the Dark Hadou, which you will get to hear him say, at minimum, 70,450 times during the running duration of the film, in case you missed the name the first 70,449 times, as it tries to infiltrate his spirit and corrupt the poor, unwitting karate fighter. Witness Chun Li as she, amazingly, speaks from her breasts, pelvis, and ass for the majority of the time, simultaneously defying biology and arousing pathetic, desperate fanboys who force themselves to enjoy this hunk of rejected material from the studio which made the Tekken anime. (Which isn't that much better than Street Fighter, I hear.) Be moved by the sad tale of what's-his-name who poses as Ryu's brother by the orders of some demented bad guy, but, during the process, grows close to Ryu and regrets betraying him. Yeah, or don't be moved, one or the other, it doesn't matter. I've already wasted enough words on this anime, let's just say it's shit and registers a rating of 85% Failure, barely being saved from the fate of Fist of the North Star due to halfway decent animation and not possessing bottom-of-the-barrel character design. Zangief does make a cameo, and big, burly, deep-voiced Russian men who throw their weight around are more fun than a barrel full of Ryu-angst.
I had more zeal to write when I opened up my word processor program, but it has been drained out of me, due to the writing I did in my "Writer's Workbook" and Formal Summary #1 for English class I was juggling with the contents of this entry this whole time. So, I promise, the next entry will not contain any reviews, simply pure and unadulterated lunatic raving.
Adios.
Currently Playing Song: Fugazi - Forensic Scene.
Yeah, life can definitely feel like a cross-country twenty kilometer race uphill, in balmy weather, underneath the midday sun, sometime in the apex of summer's torture. Or, of course, it could also be a casual, invigorating walk in the midst of a light drizzle, with the cool, refreshing wind blowing across your face, and the soft dirt under your feet of the forest trail you're blazing. I'm not in a rush, very much, so I have a tendency to experience the latter analogy, moreso than the former. Ah well, "the farther I go, the less I know, one foot goes in front of the other. It all boils down to not hanging around, to keep moving, in front of the gravity, gravity, gravity. The answer is there, the answer is there, but there is not a fixed position. It keeps moving along, so I keep coming along, and that's why I'm a long distance runner. . . . "
Critical Analysis Of My Exacerbating Oasis
Some may feel that I've shown a bit more favour to the multimedia of the animated elk, so I decided to speak on two of the more notable movies I have viewed recently, which featured real people and all of that fancy, physical reality jazz. Some may also have noticed I've done more reviewing than rambling lately, too; the explanation for that is that I have begun my summer English class, therefore most of my creative writing is being funneled towards that, and writing reviews is both entertaining and simpler than elaborate rants.
First off, there was Vanilla Sky. Okay, remember how I said that if you throw something off-the-wall and different at me, I'll almost always catch it and play with it for endless hours, contentedly (although, not in so many words)? Well, that still holds true with this movie masterpiece. (Well, a "masterpiece" may be a hyperbole, but I loved it that much.) An exploration into matters ranging from the degeneration of music to the subconscious, dream-state to sex to death, Vanilla Sky didn't disappoint in the field of intellectual content, nor was it a boring, sleeper a la Citizen Kane. (Classic or not, I detested that bit of cinema.) Superb acting, an intriguing, deep plot, romance that didn't make me retch like certain Portman/Christensen scenes, and a rather well put together score, I'd have to say that this movie only racks up a measly Failure Rating of . . . . Actually, 0%. I've probably been a bit too generous in my scoring, as I don't take my entertainment overly serious nor am I being wined and dined for the favour of ratings by movie studios. If I watch something and know I can watch it over and over, that's usually what it takes to earn a total lack of any Failure Percentage at all.
Secondly, I had fun playing "Guess which side of the DVD is full-screen and which is wide," followed by a rousing round of "Clean the DVD so it doesn't become unbearably skippy,, with The Mothman Prophecies. Despite the trouble I had with the disc itself, the movie didn't turn out very badly at all. In fact, for what it was, it was quite a success. When my father brought it in, he described it as a "horror/drama/suspense/science-fiction" flick, which told me absolute jack, nor did I even recall the trailers being run for The Mothman Prophecies, so I was completely unarmed with any prior bias when the room darkened and the DVD spun up, for the fifth time after getting it set up right. The story of a Washington D.C. reporter whose wife unexpectedly loses control of the wheel and ends up in a fatal car accident, after having supposedly "seen something," and made cryptic, demonic sketches in a book, before her death. Afterward, the man sets out to drive to Richmond, Virginia (the capital of my home state) to interview the governor, but ends up in a tiny, obscure town in West Virginia on the border of Ohio, known as Point Pleasant. Much insanity and mystery ensues, including, but not limited to, a crazy farmer waving a shotgun, UFO sightings, reports of a giant moth-like creature, voices in many heads, whisperings telling of horrible, future disasters, and much, much confusion. The Mothman Prophecies is based off a true story, as the movie notes, which mainly adds a pinch of incredulity and interest factor to it, leaving one to wonder how much of it was reality and how much was fiction. The plot is rather involved, with an ending twist that I didn't see coming, and I doubt the average Joe would have, either; however, I felt there were some holes that needed to be filled, mostly pertaining to the theories of the Mothmen presented by the writer in Chicago and his life. Although, after watching that movie, I felt somewhat the urge to go out and research what was presented within, but not overwhelmingly so. Still, a very interesting endeavour full of suspense, I give The Mothman Prophecies a Failure Rating of 9%.
Among the slew of anime I have been getting and viewing late at night when I should be asleep, I did manage to complete one series, namely: DNA^2. A very cute, touching, science-fiction comedy about a bumbling, nervous boy, Junta Momonari, and how a future Time Police agent-type woman, Marin Aoi, has come to try and prevent him from becoming a "mega-playboy" who impregnates 100 women and causes overpopulation in the future. If anything, unique, eh? This anime is chock full of the teenage love-love indecision, anxiety, and overflowing emotions which you can find in many animes, such as Love Hina and Tenchi Muyo, but vomit and farting definitely puts a slightly odd twist on it all. (Trust me, you have to watch it to understand. Ever wonder why Stan from South Park started off barfing everywhere? Yeah, this anime is where Parker and Stone take that premise from.) The first half of this anime is pleasant and humourous, which I didn't find dull very much. However, like many other comedies tend to do and end up ruining the experience, the second half starts to focus on the flimsy, mediocre plot, putting a spotlight on the glaring weakness of the anime. It nearly goes over the top at some points, with a DNA-absorbing, shape-shifting nemesis and time-travelling conspirators, but it doesn't completely lose its footing on the ledge, I think. However, it's difficult to conclude a zany series like DNA^2 without going overboard, I suppose. (Slayers the Movie, however, is a classic example of comedy-gone-bad, but I'll save that for another time.) Overall, I'd give the 15 episode TV-series DNA^2 a ranking of approximately 20% Failure. Not bad, but not great: cute, in other words.
Okay, I decided that it may appear that I give too much favour to anime over other forms of film media, so I'm going to do a couple, quick retrospective reviews of awful, awful anime. First, we have Fist of theNorth Star. Take a typical kung-fu/action movie plot involving competing brothers, a shared love interest, add horrendously done animation, utterly despicable character design, unmentionable music, uninteresting, flat, static characters, stir in a lot of badly drawn blood and gore, and you end up with a heaping, frothy cup of Fist of the North Star, a la comode. (Forgive the pun.) Please, please, please, do not watch this anime, ever. Not the movie, not the TV series, not any form of it whatsoever, don't even play the games, because I can not forewarn you enough of how plain bad it is. This heap of garbage clocks in at the highest Failure Percentage yet, 99%.
Have you ever though to yourself, "Gee, you know, Street Fighter is a really nifty game, I wonder what it'd be like if they took it and made it into a show or movie?" Well, there've been an American cartoon and an anime TV series to answer that question, neither of which I've seen much of. However, what I have had the distinct displeasure of viewing, in entirety, was the Street Fighter Alpha anime movie. Uuugh, the dialogue--I saw this dubbed, so the voice acting may not be as bad in the original form–is so cliché, so badly scripted, so repetitive. Watch as Ryu struggles to withstand the creeping tendrils of the Dark Hadou, which you will get to hear him say, at minimum, 70,450 times during the running duration of the film, in case you missed the name the first 70,449 times, as it tries to infiltrate his spirit and corrupt the poor, unwitting karate fighter. Witness Chun Li as she, amazingly, speaks from her breasts, pelvis, and ass for the majority of the time, simultaneously defying biology and arousing pathetic, desperate fanboys who force themselves to enjoy this hunk of rejected material from the studio which made the Tekken anime. (Which isn't that much better than Street Fighter, I hear.) Be moved by the sad tale of what's-his-name who poses as Ryu's brother by the orders of some demented bad guy, but, during the process, grows close to Ryu and regrets betraying him. Yeah, or don't be moved, one or the other, it doesn't matter. I've already wasted enough words on this anime, let's just say it's shit and registers a rating of 85% Failure, barely being saved from the fate of Fist of the North Star due to halfway decent animation and not possessing bottom-of-the-barrel character design. Zangief does make a cameo, and big, burly, deep-voiced Russian men who throw their weight around are more fun than a barrel full of Ryu-angst.
EOF
I had more zeal to write when I opened up my word processor program, but it has been drained out of me, due to the writing I did in my "Writer's Workbook" and Formal Summary #1 for English class I was juggling with the contents of this entry this whole time. So, I promise, the next entry will not contain any reviews, simply pure and unadulterated lunatic raving.
Adios.
Currently Playing Song: Fugazi - Forensic Scene.
posted by c.Jay Wrong at
10:24 PM
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