Your Mawkish Cowardice, Bitch
It's time for a lesson from (The Completely Unqualified) Doctor Wrong . . . God, that felt so stupid to type.
In the real world, your parents have no more weight with authorities than you do, which is to say . . . That more than likely, none. In fact, you look all the less redeemable when you are having your folks take up your own fight. What the hell is wrong with you people? What do you think life goes like? This, maybe:
I beg to differ. That is not how things go. The last line of dialogue would, more than likely, be replaced with this one:
Seriously, if I have to deal with one more "parents of a student" who "can't get connected to the internet" on campus, I may start swinging a stapler around with vicious intent. Honestly, if I have to hear, from one more mother or father, that we are "unfairly not allowing their son or daughter on the network," or that we are "arbitrarily deciding to not help," I may have to get all Christian Bale on their asses (pick any Christian Bale movie, really, I'm not thinking of any one in specificity, although not so much The Machinist Christian Bale and more along the lines of Equillibrium or Batman).
Grr. Argh.
In the real world, your parents have no more weight with authorities than you do, which is to say . . . That more than likely, none. In fact, you look all the less redeemable when you are having your folks take up your own fight. What the hell is wrong with you people? What do you think life goes like? This, maybe:
AUTHORITY: We are placing this restriction upon your existence.
YOU: That suxx0rs! Wah, I do not like this turn of events!
AUTHORITY: Too bad.
YOU: FINEZ0R!
[Time passes, the Authority has a cup of refreshing hazelnut coffee.]
YOUR PARENTS: That thing that you did to our kid? Yeah, you know, the one, to that person who is our child? You know the one, I know you do . . . We, like, don't . . . Like it, either.
AUTHORITY: Oh, well, of course, now that someone who is in their thirties to forties has brought it to our attention that this action we have taken is such a great social injustice and clearly the doing of only an evil, Satan-worshipping organization of cultists, pedophiles, Republicans, and dog-faced mutant baby octopus-mouthed alien beings of discrete origins . . . We shall immediately stop it, post haste!
I beg to differ. That is not how things go. The last line of dialogue would, more than likely, be replaced with this one:
AUTHORITY: OH, OH, HOLY SHIT! WE TOTALLY DON'T CARE!
Seriously, if I have to deal with one more "parents of a student" who "can't get connected to the internet" on campus, I may start swinging a stapler around with vicious intent. Honestly, if I have to hear, from one more mother or father, that we are "unfairly not allowing their son or daughter on the network," or that we are "arbitrarily deciding to not help," I may have to get all Christian Bale on their asses (pick any Christian Bale movie, really, I'm not thinking of any one in specificity, although not so much The Machinist Christian Bale and more along the lines of Equillibrium or Batman).
Grr. Argh.
posted by c.Jay Wrong at
1:00 AM
4 Comments:
I find it somewhat depressing that the only comments I ever receive are from spam spiders. Boo.
Well, they could be from anal spiders, would that be better?
Yes, actually. Because anal spiders would not be trying to link me to their "Work From Home" website or sell me automotive insurance or make me a partner in an oil stock trader firm or somesuch. In fact, I imagine the anal spider would be too busy trying to cobble together the English language in some strange attempt at human communication while pressing and depressing the keys on a keyboard that weigh more than they do . . . That'd be amusing, instead of irritating.
So, yes, Anal Spiders of the World: tell me what you think!
- C. Jay Wrong is tired . . .
I was hoping more newsies style Christian Bale. . . I really want you to sing and dance at them. Yep.
Yeah, I responded 6 months later.
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