Make It Incarnadine
Why the fuck do I keep hearing “Mother” by Danzig, of all songs, on the radio? This reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to do: compile a list of all songs that need to be laid to rest, or banned from public play for a minimum of twenty years (so that when they are revived, they’ll actually seem fresh).
1. “Mother,” by Danzig - obviously.
2. “Fight For Your Right to Party,” by Beastie Boys - I don’t know about radio stations around you people (and, frankly, I don’t care), but this song has been the God damn theme for one of the major rock stations — FM99 — here for far too long.
3. “I Will Survive,” by Gloria Gaynor - Yeah, you know what? You’re dead, no you won’t.
4. “Dream On,” by Aerosmith - Okay, I saw a documentary on Aerosmith once, and this was apparently Mickie’s angst-ridden tribute to the struggles he had with the band . . . Or something. It’s not a bad song, but we must, as a country, stop support such angst. Stop the Angst!
5. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” by Diana Ross - Her then-husband died while mountain climbing; yes, there is, Diana.
6. “Creep,” by Radiohead - You know, I don’t know why I think this song should be laid to rest, because I do enjoy it. I believe I can somehow sense the encroaching stagnation of the song, though, so it’d be a pre-emptive strike of sorts.
7. Everything Ever Performed by Nirvana - Read: “I hate Nirvana and am glad Cobain is dead.”
8. “Isn’t It Ironic?” by Alanis Morrisette - The innate problem with this song is that Alanis, the poor dear, failed to attend English class the day they defined irony. I blame Canadian educational systems for this one!
9. “Respect,” by Aretha Franklin - I don’t mean to be picking on female, Blues/Soul singers of the first half of the 20th century, but . . . God damn it, Hollywood and Corporate America, why did you kill the joy of these songs for the world? Why?!
10. “War Pigs,” by Black Sabbath - See, again, I like this song, but not when it feels like it’s being injected straight into my veins every week. Everything in moderation, people.
That is all.
Thank You.
[Late. Again. Sorry.]
1. “Mother,” by Danzig - obviously.
2. “Fight For Your Right to Party,” by Beastie Boys - I don’t know about radio stations around you people (and, frankly, I don’t care), but this song has been the God damn theme for one of the major rock stations — FM99 — here for far too long.
3. “I Will Survive,” by Gloria Gaynor - Yeah, you know what? You’re dead, no you won’t.
4. “Dream On,” by Aerosmith - Okay, I saw a documentary on Aerosmith once, and this was apparently Mickie’s angst-ridden tribute to the struggles he had with the band . . . Or something. It’s not a bad song, but we must, as a country, stop support such angst. Stop the Angst!
5. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” by Diana Ross - Her then-husband died while mountain climbing; yes, there is, Diana.
6. “Creep,” by Radiohead - You know, I don’t know why I think this song should be laid to rest, because I do enjoy it. I believe I can somehow sense the encroaching stagnation of the song, though, so it’d be a pre-emptive strike of sorts.
7. Everything Ever Performed by Nirvana - Read: “I hate Nirvana and am glad Cobain is dead.”
8. “Isn’t It Ironic?” by Alanis Morrisette - The innate problem with this song is that Alanis, the poor dear, failed to attend English class the day they defined irony. I blame Canadian educational systems for this one!
9. “Respect,” by Aretha Franklin - I don’t mean to be picking on female, Blues/Soul singers of the first half of the 20th century, but . . . God damn it, Hollywood and Corporate America, why did you kill the joy of these songs for the world? Why?!
10. “War Pigs,” by Black Sabbath - See, again, I like this song, but not when it feels like it’s being injected straight into my veins every week. Everything in moderation, people.
That is all.
Thank You.
[Late. Again. Sorry.]
posted by c.Jay Wrong at
4:01 AM
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