Five Florid Brief Reviews
I have been to the movie theatre on a number of occasions in the recent past. Inside of these mysterious halls of stained and frayed carpets and glassy-eyed, zombie-like servants, magic glowing machines show me things, terrible secrets of arcane and ancient natures. Lord, I have seen the End, and it is more terrible than the prophets have written! Yea, I say unto thee, the faithful and pure believers, hold thyselves from sin, for the consequence that awaits thee is nigh unfathomable in its sinister torments! Worse yet, it may very well be starring Halle Berry—I shall pray for thy soul's salvation, o ye lamb!
The wizard's tower I ascended for the viewing of this moving, entrancing picture was obelisk in nature, monstrous in scope, marked with the appellation, "IMAX," for truly it's treatment to the eyeball and things related was in a maximised portion… I'm going to stop writing like a bad 70's fantasy dime-novel, Were the cheap novels even a low as ten cent, then? Fuck it, who cares. Superman was what we got in exchange for the filth that was Ratner's X3, as Bryan Singer jumped ship from that franchise after X's 1 & 2 to do this project, which is something, as my ex-roommate estimated, that should be weighed upon when speaking of this film. The question must be asked, "Was this movie worth the travesty of X3? Would a good X-Men movie have been preferable to a good Superman one?" In other words, Superman Returns had to be awesome enough for two.
Now, in my opinion, there are very few films that aren't benefitted by being on a gigantic IMAX screen, at least in the action-based genres, so that's an instant plus. Oh, man, do I love the IMAX; seriously, when you have to turn your head because something is going on to the right or left, there's something nearly "virtual reality" about the whole thing. Unlike Matrix: Reloaded, which on IMAX mostly revealed that the movie was both unsatisfying and included more nipples than I needed to see outside of pornography, Superman Returns was pretty great and didn't challenge my sexuality. The 3D parts were kinda nifty, arguably just by the merit of "Hey, it's not 2D," but it wasn't the most outstanding three dimensional effects ever manufactured. I'm maybe a bit desensitised to the entire idea by Busch Gardens Williamsburg and the onslaught of 3D Theatre that was always offered there—which, additionally, involved getting remotely damp for some reason—but I'd say go see it at IMAX 3D if you can, over plain ol' traditional cinemas with their non-wrapping silver screens o' doom.
As for the movie itself, it was Singer-licious, very evident of being envisioned and created by a man with an eye for good writing, good scenery, and good fun, clearly able to rally a team of able writers, actors and a production staff worth their salt. Everything in the movie was pretty much spot-on with no major complaints, except for one thing I'll get to later. Like X's 1 & 2, the humour is cute, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, and worthy of chuckles, the action was expertly executed it such a way not so overdone that it reeked of budget-squandering or effects-masturbation (see Pirates 2), and the plot was adequately true to a comic-superhero flick while not being out-and-out stupid (see X3). My ex-roommate commented that it felt like "an episode of the old 50's TV show," but he said that with a negative implication, and I can't say I found that so bad—after all, X-Men 1 & 2 were like the old X-Men cartoon, Spiderman was like an episode of the old show if one existed—sure, there's a formula of "exposition, villian attemplts plot, hero foils plot while overcoming obstacles, dénouement, all with underlying romance subplot" but that's kinda to be expected.
The dénouement would actually be about what I had anything resembling a "big" complaint, speaking of. Superman had trouble finding an ending, and after things basically settled down post-climax, there was just too much time spent dwelling on the winding-down process. I was a bit tired of sentimental, slow cuts of emotional displays with moving violins by the time the credits appeared. The Lois Lane slash Clark Kent slash Superman drama is interesting enough, is definitely a staple of the universe, but I was not quite invested enough in the ordeal to want that much lingering on it—even with the kid, now. Honestly, I found the whole "love triangle" subplot to be… not trite or anything like that, well-written and acted, but… eh, sorta unneeded. Could've done without it, but it wasn't a huge detriment. The best comparison would be to the Bruce Wayne slash Rachel Dawes affair in Batman Begins: it reeked of being there solely because it's expected there's to be love interest and romantic drama, not because it built on or supported the actual story. Sometimes, I'd just like something not telling me that love makes everything complete—fuck that noise, as the kids say.
Brent Routh deserves a nod of approval for his performance as Kent and Superman—wherever one gets a chin like that from, it's good to see it made good use of. Kate Bosworth was an iteration of Lois Lane to be ranked with the best. Sam Huntington made a darling lil' Jimmy, perfectly too-eager and willing. But, let's face it, it's all about Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther, here. It's hard to stand beside such a performance and not be overshadowed, what with how much it shined. Everybody loved—even the people of the future who've yet to see it—the "C'mon, let me hear you say it, just once… No, not that… WRONG!" scene, but I do not know about you, but the scene with Lex Luther standing there in a robe with a toothbrush in his mouth asking, surprisedly, "Loith Lane?": gold, pure gold, hands-down. It's good to see a change-up from the "Aww, his daddy didn't hug him" Luther from Smallville, back to the roots of the "Aww, he's criminally insane" character; thank you for that, alone, Singer.
I'm not sure if I'd say Superman Returns was awesome enough for two movies, and I still wish Singer had kept with X3, but this film will be a solid classic superhero flick. Failure Rating: 15%
I have a friend who veritably worships the Silent Hill franchise, and my ex-roommate really likes the games a lot but not quite as much, and I, myself, have never owned a PlayStation 1 or 2, so I've never indulged in the games more than occasionally viewing others doing so. The overall (dis)agreement between the three parties, respectively, is: 1) "OMFG SO MUCH H8!!!!!!11!1ELEVEN!!1!," 2) "It wasn't at all like the games, but it was a right good horror, indeed," then, 3) "I found the atmospheric overtones, the visuals, the setting and the style of cinematography to be very creative and interesting, the plot to be… very faithful to Japanese Horror—which it to say, ignore it or regret it—the acting to be par for the B-Horror course, and the obligatory twist ending to be satisfying, making for a very solid modern Horror experience that was decidedly not the bullshit that was, say, Hide & Seek or Jason X (read: garbage)." Failure Rating: 32%.
Satiric comedy is something I take probably more seriously than is good for my enjoyment, most of the time. When something is clearly vying to be a satire, I, thus, expect it to say something I consider poignant and slash or pointed, not just abuse the label of "Satire" to masquerade as bad comedy with a so-called message. This movie was great. It was that brand of tongue-in-cheek comedy that is so rarely executed elegantly without being nothing more than "Ha-ha, people are dumb, isn't that funny!" Aaron Eckart is now a name I may actually recognise from henceforth, it was nice to see Larry Miller in something again, and William H. Macy gave a solid performance as a douchebag: very fitting for a role as a Senator. It was worth the gamble it was to go catch in theatres, I'd say. Failure Rating: 20%.
One thing I do outside of watch things with my eyes is listen to things with my ears.
I adore this band, a lot, because it's something unique in a sea of mediocrity, something catchy and fun without being shallow and recycled, poppy without being predictable; reminding me that to be "pop punk" isn't necessarily to be yet another incarnation of the same-old NoFX, Green Day or Blink 182 formulae. I saw them live when they came through Norfolk, and that was one great fucking set. After that, I actually bothered to seek out their newest album, for which they were touring, and listened to it… over and over and over, for days. Apparently, when they sit down and make songs about something more than masturbation and dick jokes, the result is very cynical and sarcastic; this is an entire album of songs like "Thank God" (lyrics quoted in LJ entry linked earlier). At the concert, Jimmy Urine (the lead singer & programmer) came out in a jacket with the phrase "Shit Eats Pee" printed on the back, and proceeded to rouse the audience into chanting said phrase; why? We believe because he could. To quote Urine later in the show, "C'mon, say what I say, dress how I dress, do what I do, and we can all be non-conformists TOGETHER!" That is reflective of precisely the attitude on this album, the mockery of their own fans they indulge in, with lines like the following one from the song for which the album is named (or vice verse, who knows): "You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are wrong? I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!" Their style has matured and developed since earlier work, they've become a tighter unit with more sophisticated techique, and the writing is golden, accompanying Jimmy's oddball, high-pitched vocals. Here is a band that has been doing it's own thing for years and has become a force to be reckoned with in the pop-punk scene. Failure Rating: 5%
And, sometimes, I watch things with my eyes that aren't out of Hollywood, too.
It's probably fruitless to review something shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim line-up, but, nonetheless, I want to say a few things about this anime. From the creative talent of those who brought us the genius that was Cowboy Bebop, comes an entry in historic, fuedal-era, Edo-period Japan genre of anime that's not another rehashing of Rurouni Kenshin. The first lines seen of this show, after the opening sequence, are: "Although this story is largely fiction and some parts do not line up with history, stop BITCHING and just shut up and WATCH." What follows is a stylistic exploration of the journey of three characters, their pasts, and the state of a civilisation in transition, with a sufficient amount of action, comedy, and drama; actually, to clarify, the action in this series? Hands-down, some of the best fight scenes in the history of animation are included in Champloo, with sharp, delicious animation. The top-quality animation work that was seen in the Bebop movie is what you get through all twenty-six episodes, as well, leaving little about which to complain. Calling this "Cowboy Bebop in Fuedal Japan" would not be wholly inaccurate, and I have no issue with that, because seeing more material in that same style of art and writing is quite invigorating. The musical focus here is, oddly, hip-hop and rap, as opposed to Bebop's focus on Jazz and Blues, still done with utmost precision and love. Good animation, good writing, good music: good show. Where's the movie? Failure Rating: 2%
[TIA;TY]
Superman Returns
The wizard's tower I ascended for the viewing of this moving, entrancing picture was obelisk in nature, monstrous in scope, marked with the appellation, "IMAX," for truly it's treatment to the eyeball and things related was in a maximised portion… I'm going to stop writing like a bad 70's fantasy dime-novel, Were the cheap novels even a low as ten cent, then? Fuck it, who cares. Superman was what we got in exchange for the filth that was Ratner's X3, as Bryan Singer jumped ship from that franchise after X's 1 & 2 to do this project, which is something, as my ex-roommate estimated, that should be weighed upon when speaking of this film. The question must be asked, "Was this movie worth the travesty of X3? Would a good X-Men movie have been preferable to a good Superman one?" In other words, Superman Returns had to be awesome enough for two.
Now, in my opinion, there are very few films that aren't benefitted by being on a gigantic IMAX screen, at least in the action-based genres, so that's an instant plus. Oh, man, do I love the IMAX; seriously, when you have to turn your head because something is going on to the right or left, there's something nearly "virtual reality" about the whole thing. Unlike Matrix: Reloaded, which on IMAX mostly revealed that the movie was both unsatisfying and included more nipples than I needed to see outside of pornography, Superman Returns was pretty great and didn't challenge my sexuality. The 3D parts were kinda nifty, arguably just by the merit of "Hey, it's not 2D," but it wasn't the most outstanding three dimensional effects ever manufactured. I'm maybe a bit desensitised to the entire idea by Busch Gardens Williamsburg and the onslaught of 3D Theatre that was always offered there—which, additionally, involved getting remotely damp for some reason—but I'd say go see it at IMAX 3D if you can, over plain ol' traditional cinemas with their non-wrapping silver screens o' doom.
As for the movie itself, it was Singer-licious, very evident of being envisioned and created by a man with an eye for good writing, good scenery, and good fun, clearly able to rally a team of able writers, actors and a production staff worth their salt. Everything in the movie was pretty much spot-on with no major complaints, except for one thing I'll get to later. Like X's 1 & 2, the humour is cute, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, and worthy of chuckles, the action was expertly executed it such a way not so overdone that it reeked of budget-squandering or effects-masturbation (see Pirates 2), and the plot was adequately true to a comic-superhero flick while not being out-and-out stupid (see X3). My ex-roommate commented that it felt like "an episode of the old 50's TV show," but he said that with a negative implication, and I can't say I found that so bad—after all, X-Men 1 & 2 were like the old X-Men cartoon, Spiderman was like an episode of the old show if one existed—sure, there's a formula of "exposition, villian attemplts plot, hero foils plot while overcoming obstacles, dénouement, all with underlying romance subplot" but that's kinda to be expected.
The dénouement would actually be about what I had anything resembling a "big" complaint, speaking of. Superman had trouble finding an ending, and after things basically settled down post-climax, there was just too much time spent dwelling on the winding-down process. I was a bit tired of sentimental, slow cuts of emotional displays with moving violins by the time the credits appeared. The Lois Lane slash Clark Kent slash Superman drama is interesting enough, is definitely a staple of the universe, but I was not quite invested enough in the ordeal to want that much lingering on it—even with the kid, now. Honestly, I found the whole "love triangle" subplot to be… not trite or anything like that, well-written and acted, but… eh, sorta unneeded. Could've done without it, but it wasn't a huge detriment. The best comparison would be to the Bruce Wayne slash Rachel Dawes affair in Batman Begins: it reeked of being there solely because it's expected there's to be love interest and romantic drama, not because it built on or supported the actual story. Sometimes, I'd just like something not telling me that love makes everything complete—fuck that noise, as the kids say.
Brent Routh deserves a nod of approval for his performance as Kent and Superman—wherever one gets a chin like that from, it's good to see it made good use of. Kate Bosworth was an iteration of Lois Lane to be ranked with the best. Sam Huntington made a darling lil' Jimmy, perfectly too-eager and willing. But, let's face it, it's all about Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther, here. It's hard to stand beside such a performance and not be overshadowed, what with how much it shined. Everybody loved—even the people of the future who've yet to see it—the "C'mon, let me hear you say it, just once… No, not that… WRONG!" scene, but I do not know about you, but the scene with Lex Luther standing there in a robe with a toothbrush in his mouth asking, surprisedly, "Loith Lane?": gold, pure gold, hands-down. It's good to see a change-up from the "Aww, his daddy didn't hug him" Luther from Smallville, back to the roots of the "Aww, he's criminally insane" character; thank you for that, alone, Singer.
I'm not sure if I'd say Superman Returns was awesome enough for two movies, and I still wish Singer had kept with X3, but this film will be a solid classic superhero flick. Failure Rating: 15%
Silent Hill
I have a friend who veritably worships the Silent Hill franchise, and my ex-roommate really likes the games a lot but not quite as much, and I, myself, have never owned a PlayStation 1 or 2, so I've never indulged in the games more than occasionally viewing others doing so. The overall (dis)agreement between the three parties, respectively, is: 1) "OMFG SO MUCH H8!!!!!!11!1ELEVEN!!1!," 2) "It wasn't at all like the games, but it was a right good horror, indeed," then, 3) "I found the atmospheric overtones, the visuals, the setting and the style of cinematography to be very creative and interesting, the plot to be… very faithful to Japanese Horror—which it to say, ignore it or regret it—the acting to be par for the B-Horror course, and the obligatory twist ending to be satisfying, making for a very solid modern Horror experience that was decidedly not the bullshit that was, say, Hide & Seek or Jason X (read: garbage)." Failure Rating: 32%.
Thank You for Smoking
Satiric comedy is something I take probably more seriously than is good for my enjoyment, most of the time. When something is clearly vying to be a satire, I, thus, expect it to say something I consider poignant and slash or pointed, not just abuse the label of "Satire" to masquerade as bad comedy with a so-called message. This movie was great. It was that brand of tongue-in-cheek comedy that is so rarely executed elegantly without being nothing more than "Ha-ha, people are dumb, isn't that funny!" Aaron Eckart is now a name I may actually recognise from henceforth, it was nice to see Larry Miller in something again, and William H. Macy gave a solid performance as a douchebag: very fitting for a role as a Senator. It was worth the gamble it was to go catch in theatres, I'd say. Failure Rating: 20%.
One thing I do outside of watch things with my eyes is listen to things with my ears.
Mindless Self Indulgence's You'll Rebel To Anything (As Long As It's Not Challenging) LP
I adore this band, a lot, because it's something unique in a sea of mediocrity, something catchy and fun without being shallow and recycled, poppy without being predictable; reminding me that to be "pop punk" isn't necessarily to be yet another incarnation of the same-old NoFX, Green Day or Blink 182 formulae. I saw them live when they came through Norfolk, and that was one great fucking set. After that, I actually bothered to seek out their newest album, for which they were touring, and listened to it… over and over and over, for days. Apparently, when they sit down and make songs about something more than masturbation and dick jokes, the result is very cynical and sarcastic; this is an entire album of songs like "Thank God" (lyrics quoted in LJ entry linked earlier). At the concert, Jimmy Urine (the lead singer & programmer) came out in a jacket with the phrase "Shit Eats Pee" printed on the back, and proceeded to rouse the audience into chanting said phrase; why? We believe because he could. To quote Urine later in the show, "C'mon, say what I say, dress how I dress, do what I do, and we can all be non-conformists TOGETHER!" That is reflective of precisely the attitude on this album, the mockery of their own fans they indulge in, with lines like the following one from the song for which the album is named (or vice verse, who knows): "You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are wrong? I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons!" Their style has matured and developed since earlier work, they've become a tighter unit with more sophisticated techique, and the writing is golden, accompanying Jimmy's oddball, high-pitched vocals. Here is a band that has been doing it's own thing for years and has become a force to be reckoned with in the pop-punk scene. Failure Rating: 5%
And, sometimes, I watch things with my eyes that aren't out of Hollywood, too.
Samurai Champloo
It's probably fruitless to review something shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim line-up, but, nonetheless, I want to say a few things about this anime. From the creative talent of those who brought us the genius that was Cowboy Bebop, comes an entry in historic, fuedal-era, Edo-period Japan genre of anime that's not another rehashing of Rurouni Kenshin. The first lines seen of this show, after the opening sequence, are: "Although this story is largely fiction and some parts do not line up with history, stop BITCHING and just shut up and WATCH." What follows is a stylistic exploration of the journey of three characters, their pasts, and the state of a civilisation in transition, with a sufficient amount of action, comedy, and drama; actually, to clarify, the action in this series? Hands-down, some of the best fight scenes in the history of animation are included in Champloo, with sharp, delicious animation. The top-quality animation work that was seen in the Bebop movie is what you get through all twenty-six episodes, as well, leaving little about which to complain. Calling this "Cowboy Bebop in Fuedal Japan" would not be wholly inaccurate, and I have no issue with that, because seeing more material in that same style of art and writing is quite invigorating. The musical focus here is, oddly, hip-hop and rap, as opposed to Bebop's focus on Jazz and Blues, still done with utmost precision and love. Good animation, good writing, good music: good show. Where's the movie? Failure Rating: 2%
[TIA;TY]
posted by c.Jay Wrong at
12:01 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home