Ten Things I Hate About You . . . Is A Piece of Shit Movie

In the spirit of self-deprecating humour that’s not particularly funny, here is a list of ten reasons why you probably don’t want to date me, women of the world, in no intentional order:

1. I have a sword collection. Some would say that is “telling” about me; I am here to assure you it is completely telling. However, I will not tell where the bodies are.
2. I have a beard, and I’m fat. There’s no real way to spin that, in writing, to be funny, but, in real-life, it’s fucking comedy gold. Especially since people can look right at me, and think, “Hey, he is fat and does have a beard, right there, on his face. Wow.”
3. Above my head are a collection of roleplaying sourcebooks, to the my left is a collection of anime DVDs, and in front of me is a computer that I built myself, on my right is an assortment of hats I take special pleasure in having. Do you know what that means? While running a roleplaying game, for which I generated my own character sheets and for which I pirated some music, I wear an atypical hat and draw inspiration, sometimes, from anime.
4. I never finish anything.