This is Pretty Bad

And I've found
there's little argument to be had
with the premise
of the ugly that I am.

No contorts of
your rich imagination can
help you pretend.

They'll say their clichés, you know,
something about every dog has his day.

The mirror is a powerful
metaphor for the metamorphosis of reality
into the planes of fantasy,
And it's kind of been done
so I won't use it
here, at least.

Let me just say that
no matter how hard you try
you probably aren't aware
of how ugly I am.

I'll elaborate:
think of that guy
(the one everyone's seen)
who makes you look away in a mixture
of trepidation and disgust...
That's not quite me.

So, you see,
what I mean to put across
is that I am one ugly-ass
son of a bitch.

And there's nothing to do
for my condition--
nothing.

Sentence of the Day: Purblind versus Profound

"Missed the State of the Union, was at Church...which as a Conservative I consider somewhat more important." - from a relatively random guy's LiveJournal.

This sentence, while obviously was meant to be referring to the State of Union Address, I couldn't help but smile happily at the generous allocation for deconstructive reinterpretation. You can play Infer the Double Entendre, I'll be over somewhere else masturbating my vocabulary. Oh, wait, I'm done—somebody convey a towel to my person so that I may desiccate my appendages.
As an aside: don't fuck with my vocabulary, man, 'cause, like, I'm, like, totally certified in the use of English and shit, dude.
Seriously.

No, really. I am . . . in Typing Speed & Accuracy, Math Fundamentals, Windows Fundamentals, and HTML, too.

It's crazy.

Sentence of the Day

"I take it that you this represents calculation of your array address." - from here.

Fuck the what, now?