Vet isn't a Very Good Word of the Day: I Only Get to Do This Particular Thing Every Four Years, Per Se
Hot Topic was never underground, people. For one thing, look at the name: Hot Topic. Seriously, think about that name and the connotations it carries, right now. Hot Topic, i.e. a topic that is "hot," which is to say, something which is a popular trend in social circles; in other words, Hot Topic equals Current Fad. Secondly, it was always a mall outlet, and, frankly, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, indie (e.g. independently established) about a MALL OUTLET. Thank you.
South Park was never clever, nor was it original. It was controversial and a shock to the general, decent public; mostly, because it was an indecent and filthy piece of tripe. Also, it has done nothing but set the standards for American animation back by a decade, only allowing the Japanese to further evolve their animation style past that of our's. Which leads me to my next miniature rant . . .
Anime is not the epitome of animation, people. For one, to clarify, anime is, by definition: Japanese. Nothing American is anime, period. Look, I am highly fond of anime, but I do not believe it is the apex of animation. It is, simply put, more developed and fleshed out than any other country's animation; decades ago, the Japanese realised the handiness of having no actors to deal with, so they took animation seriously. Decades ago, America realised Casey Casum had a funny voice. Right, yeah, so Japan has a lot of things set up better and done right in animation; what does this not mean, though, folks? It doesn't mean the answer is to lift cultural references and inside jokes out of anime and stick it in American animation. The stylisation of anime is nothing better than anyone else's, it just happens to be thier's. Get over face faults, sweat drops, pastel motifs (i.e. multicoloured hair), and action lines. It works for Japan, it doesn't work for us.
Even when "emo" music was underground, it was still shitty, people. I would know, I was there, when bands started dredging out these musical numbers about how hard it was to get laid and how they couldn't get a girlfriend. In a way, it was a relief to hear bands not try their damnedest to sound like cockney, low-class English vocals, but God damn it, why replace it with trying to sound as white and whiney as possible? The answer is not to spend two minutes crying on microphone while being backed up by instrumentals that make the pop-punkers look talented. Unlike a lot of movements in modern music, being taken to a somewhat mainstream and commercial level has not changed emo, that much -- It still sucks.
Mad TV is "SNL without the class," to quote my friend. And, I would add, without the talent -- Oh boy, a cast of mediocre, at best, white males, a clinically-insane, emaciated white woman, and a black woman or two? Huzzah! Strap me in for hours of watching pleasure, oh yeah! Mad magazine peaked something like a decade and a half ago, and since then, it's lifeline has been dipping -- The show doesn't help out.
Comedy in America died, years ago. It really has: just look around and think about it. What are the shining examples of comedy this decade? It's sad to say that the funniest man in Hollywood, today, is Jackie Chan. I should specify that I'm referring to the big screen cinema, not television. Comedy isn't dead while Becker and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart persists. The answer here is that Mel Brooks needs to direct a new movie, because he's not dead. And, you know, I've been delivering this rant for about a week, now, on and off, always saying that Gene Wilder is, unfortunately, dead; however, upon inspection of his biography, he's, uh, quite alive, apparently. He just hasn't been in anything decent since See No Evil, Hear No Evil, which was over ten years ago. What happened, here? Why is Mel Brooks not making comedies, and Gene Wilder starring in bit parts on random, unheardof television shows? See, more proof that comedy in America has been a dying animal for awhile . . . So, I should check IMdb more often, because I did not know Brooks was producing a remake of The Producers. Ew, that doesn't make me feel good on the inside, why try and redo something that was done so well, the first time around? Matthew Broderick replacing Gene Wilder? Nathan Lane replacing the infamous Zero? Fuck that, Jack . . . I never did like the fact that they took it to Broadway, to start with, but now remaking the movie with Nathan Lane's fat, worthless ass in it? Nicole Kidman does nothing to redeem this endeavour, as amazingly (and creepily) hot I may or may not think she is.
Oh, yeah. So, what I think needs to be done about Comedy in America: Mel Brooks needs to direct a new movie, casting the lead role to Robin Williams. Yes, imagine that, would you? Somewhere in there, Gene Wilder would have to make a comeo appearance. It'd be great, great I tell you.
When my friend and I take over the world, what we have decided to do is place Lewis Black as President of the United States of America. I could see it now, he'd break into national broadcasting to deliver one of those Presidential-type addresses: "And, now, ladies and gentleman, the President of the United States of America, Mr. Lewis Black." He'd sit there for something like twenty or thirty minutes, just gesturing wildly in the air, exasperated and bewildered by the state of the country. Visualise Lewis Black, if you can, waving his two, uplifted middle fingers about the screen, with the backdrop of the Oval Office, just sputtering and attempting to form coherent statements, but failing due to the immense migraine he's experiencing because he'd actually put thought into the Presidency. Once, he'd come on, and midway through, he'd die of an anuerism -- Moments beforehand, he'd spit out, "If it WEREN'T for my HORSE, I wouldn't have SPENT that YEAR in COLLEGE?!?!!!"
Somewhere in there, the cast of the Daily Show would be involved: Jon Stewart as Vice President, Steven Colbert as Secretary of State, Ed Helms as Secretary of Defense, Samantha What's-Her-Face as Attorney General. Fun stuff, what have you.
Bush MUST lose.
Uh . . . I'm done.
Adios.
South Park was never clever, nor was it original. It was controversial and a shock to the general, decent public; mostly, because it was an indecent and filthy piece of tripe. Also, it has done nothing but set the standards for American animation back by a decade, only allowing the Japanese to further evolve their animation style past that of our's. Which leads me to my next miniature rant . . .
Anime is not the epitome of animation, people. For one, to clarify, anime is, by definition: Japanese. Nothing American is anime, period. Look, I am highly fond of anime, but I do not believe it is the apex of animation. It is, simply put, more developed and fleshed out than any other country's animation; decades ago, the Japanese realised the handiness of having no actors to deal with, so they took animation seriously. Decades ago, America realised Casey Casum had a funny voice. Right, yeah, so Japan has a lot of things set up better and done right in animation; what does this not mean, though, folks? It doesn't mean the answer is to lift cultural references and inside jokes out of anime and stick it in American animation. The stylisation of anime is nothing better than anyone else's, it just happens to be thier's. Get over face faults, sweat drops, pastel motifs (i.e. multicoloured hair), and action lines. It works for Japan, it doesn't work for us.
Even when "emo" music was underground, it was still shitty, people. I would know, I was there, when bands started dredging out these musical numbers about how hard it was to get laid and how they couldn't get a girlfriend. In a way, it was a relief to hear bands not try their damnedest to sound like cockney, low-class English vocals, but God damn it, why replace it with trying to sound as white and whiney as possible? The answer is not to spend two minutes crying on microphone while being backed up by instrumentals that make the pop-punkers look talented. Unlike a lot of movements in modern music, being taken to a somewhat mainstream and commercial level has not changed emo, that much -- It still sucks.
Mad TV is "SNL without the class," to quote my friend. And, I would add, without the talent -- Oh boy, a cast of mediocre, at best, white males, a clinically-insane, emaciated white woman, and a black woman or two? Huzzah! Strap me in for hours of watching pleasure, oh yeah! Mad magazine peaked something like a decade and a half ago, and since then, it's lifeline has been dipping -- The show doesn't help out.
Comedy in America died, years ago. It really has: just look around and think about it. What are the shining examples of comedy this decade? It's sad to say that the funniest man in Hollywood, today, is Jackie Chan. I should specify that I'm referring to the big screen cinema, not television. Comedy isn't dead while Becker and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart persists. The answer here is that Mel Brooks needs to direct a new movie, because he's not dead. And, you know, I've been delivering this rant for about a week, now, on and off, always saying that Gene Wilder is, unfortunately, dead; however, upon inspection of his biography, he's, uh, quite alive, apparently. He just hasn't been in anything decent since See No Evil, Hear No Evil, which was over ten years ago. What happened, here? Why is Mel Brooks not making comedies, and Gene Wilder starring in bit parts on random, unheardof television shows? See, more proof that comedy in America has been a dying animal for awhile . . . So, I should check IMdb more often, because I did not know Brooks was producing a remake of The Producers. Ew, that doesn't make me feel good on the inside, why try and redo something that was done so well, the first time around? Matthew Broderick replacing Gene Wilder? Nathan Lane replacing the infamous Zero? Fuck that, Jack . . . I never did like the fact that they took it to Broadway, to start with, but now remaking the movie with Nathan Lane's fat, worthless ass in it? Nicole Kidman does nothing to redeem this endeavour, as amazingly (and creepily) hot I may or may not think she is.
Oh, yeah. So, what I think needs to be done about Comedy in America: Mel Brooks needs to direct a new movie, casting the lead role to Robin Williams. Yes, imagine that, would you? Somewhere in there, Gene Wilder would have to make a comeo appearance. It'd be great, great I tell you.
When my friend and I take over the world, what we have decided to do is place Lewis Black as President of the United States of America. I could see it now, he'd break into national broadcasting to deliver one of those Presidential-type addresses: "And, now, ladies and gentleman, the President of the United States of America, Mr. Lewis Black." He'd sit there for something like twenty or thirty minutes, just gesturing wildly in the air, exasperated and bewildered by the state of the country. Visualise Lewis Black, if you can, waving his two, uplifted middle fingers about the screen, with the backdrop of the Oval Office, just sputtering and attempting to form coherent statements, but failing due to the immense migraine he's experiencing because he'd actually put thought into the Presidency. Once, he'd come on, and midway through, he'd die of an anuerism -- Moments beforehand, he'd spit out, "If it WEREN'T for my HORSE, I wouldn't have SPENT that YEAR in COLLEGE?!?!!!"
Somewhere in there, the cast of the Daily Show would be involved: Jon Stewart as Vice President, Steven Colbert as Secretary of State, Ed Helms as Secretary of Defense, Samantha What's-Her-Face as Attorney General. Fun stuff, what have you.
Bush MUST lose.
Uh . . . I'm done.
Adios.
posted by c.Jay Wrong at
1:38 AM
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